I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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