My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
