i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
