and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize