I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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