My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
