she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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