I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
