The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So gin and wine won't be happening again
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
