i just google imaged poop.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
