So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
