god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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