and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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