When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
