The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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