my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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