I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
