You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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