Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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