I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize