You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
