just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
