We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
