Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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