just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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