she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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