Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
