A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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