he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
