i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
