Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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