I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
