I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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