his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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