just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
