It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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