watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
