those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
