clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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