I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
