Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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