i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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