he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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