were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
