I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize