Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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