My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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