I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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