he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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