Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
