I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
