I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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