I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
