Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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