6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
