I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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